Overwhelmed

Joe told me today what this big surprise is that he's been telling me about for a couple days. He's thinking about buying an old car of a friend's and trying to fix it for me. So that i don't need to save up a bunch of money for a car because with the job i have, that's not going to happen. When i heard that, i started crying. Sometimes everything that's happening in my life catches up with me and i need to let it out. my mom has cancer, she got kicked out of her apartment, i'm broke, and even though i'm extremely grateful Joe is trying, the car thing probably isn't going to work out. i was happy he cared that much about me. But it's one of those things that i will be extremely sad and disappointed if it doesn't work out. But i'm not really expecting it to.

~*maria*~

Second

i was second to another girl tonight. A girl he has a history with. What kind of conclusion would any other girl jump to? The same one as i did. Unfortunately, i wouldn't really be surprised if it turns out to be true. Being with him makes me believe all the more that i am bound to be alone for the rest of my life.

Today is our two month anniversary. We may not see three.

~*maria*~