I was standing in the kitchen, at the
sink, drinking a glass of water. He came out of his room and stood
in the spot I usually stood at the counter. He smiled at me.
“What are you doing here?”
“Hanging out with Adam.”
“Do you want to hang out tomorrow?
I've got the next four days off work.”
“It's possible. I'm not sure what
I'm doing yet.”
I was going camping with Adam. But how
could I say that without giving it all away? He walked over to the
fridge, looked in it. Then he just leaned against the back wall,
staring at me.
“Are you sleeping over?”
“Yup.”
“Are you fucking my roommate?”
“...No.”
I panicked. I shouldn't have lied.
But without even reasoning through it, that was the first thing out
of my mouth.
“Would there be a problem with that?”
“No, not really.”
“Good.”
Adam came out of his room and got a
drink. Drew had moved to the couch. He looked like shit. I could
tell it was more than just allergies bothering him. He was watching
Adam and I. He knew what was going on, but he didn't want to admit
it to himself. Adam went back to his room and I was about to follow,
but I turned around instead.
“Are you okay?”
“I'm just stressed out.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“Yeah, I kind of do.”
I sat in the chair next to the couch.
“What's going on?”
“I'm just stressed out about work. I
can never get done what they want me to get done. I just don't have
enough time. And about the apartment. We haven't heard anything
from them since turning in the application.”
“I'm sure you'll hear from them soon.
Like tomorrow or something. There's no reason you guys wouldn't get
the apartment. And work. Well work is work. Just do your best.”
“Yeah I'm sure you're right. I'm
also kind of stressed about you.”
He looked me straight in the eyes.
Please Drew, no. Don't do this.
“I'm afraid I made a mistake. That I
shouldn't have broken up with you. I freaked out. And now hanging
out with you the past couple weeks has made me think it was a mistake
to break up with you.”
Fuck you.
“Drew, you're a really nice guy and I
enjoyed being with you, but I think we're better as just friends.”
“Is there any chance we could get
back together?”
“Not right now.”
“Not right now.”
Silence.
“So, are you fucking my roommate?”
“Yes.”
More silence.
“Wow. I haven't been this pissed in
a long time. I feel like I need to punch something.”
“Please don't.”
My confidence was gone. It was like I
could barely talk. I could barely get the words out. I was
terrified.
“So is it just fucking or are you two
together?”
“I don't know. We haven't really
talked about it.”
With every word I said, I could feel
him getting angrier. He got up and went outside on the patio. He
punched the wall. I had to leave. I escaped to Adam. There were
tears on my face. He came over to the bed where I was sitting and
wrapped his arms around me. I told him everything that had happened.
“You know, I don't think I've ever
seen Drew leave his room except to go to work.”
“That's not true. When we were
together, we'd play frisbee every once in a while. There's no reason
he should be pissed. He broke up with me. And when we were just
fooling around, he made it perfectly clear it wasn't going anywhere.”
“Well, I don't think he deserves you.
I guess I owe him a thank you because if it wasn't for him, we
wouldn't have met.”
He's got a goofy way of doing it, but
he can cheer me up. My phone vibrated: “Please come back out and
talk to me.”
“He wants to talk to me again.”
I got up and moved to the door.
“You don't have to.”
“I know. It won't take long. I just
feel bad. I'll be back in a few minutes.”
I gave him a small kiss and opened the
door.
“Hey, wait."
He grabbed my waist and closed the door
again. He kissed me the way no one has in a long time. I turned and
opened the door and went out. I sat on the arm of the couch, ready
to escape again if needed. He complained and questioned me some
more. I don't really remember what all he was saying. I didn't care
at this point. I just wanted to go curl up in bed with Adam and
forget about him. He was nothing to me anymore.
He finally started feeling better. He
said he wanted to be friends, that he was okay. He stood and gave me
a hug. He went to the kitchen to take some sleeping pills so he
could sleep. Adam came out of his room and came and stood by the
couch where I was.
No Adam. Go back in your room. Drew
was calmed down.
“Is everything green?”
Drew went to his room and slammed his
door.
The next day I went up north with Adam.
If Drew hadn't acted so immature and irrational about it all, maybe
I would have felt bad. But I didn't. I still don't. Adam's a
really awesome guy.
~*maria*~
