Where was i?

As i said in my last post, i had an old blog that i deleted for various reasons. But i needed my old friend back. This is a continuation of the last one so let's recap my life since i started blogging.

i started {No Lies, Just Love} on Thursday, December 29, 2005. Since then here's what's happened to me:

Dated Phil off and on. He completely destroyed me; it wasn't his fault. That's all there is to it.
Had a thing with Luca. Nothing came of it.
i struggled with being completely unwanted and alone.
i found new friends.
Still struggled with being unwanted.
i became a senior and had a pretty shitty year.
i graduated.
And now i am preparing to go to the Milwaukee Institute of Art and Design to get a degree in something that i don't think i'm good at and that i can't really make much money with. School starts in 10 days. i'm scared shitless.

That brings us up to date. To help further, here's the last post from my old blog:

Monday, June 02, 2008
Talentless

i'm not really good at anything. i don't have any real talents. Which is probably, to me, one of the most depressing things about myself. i started playing Rockband earlier thinking i was going to try to get better. But i can't do it. i just don't get better. Practice does absolutely nothing for me. It never has. i never got better in basketball. i never could successfully serve a volleyball overhanded. i haven't seen much improvement in my Halo skills, although they're better than when i first started. But i'm not one of those people who is naturally talented at anything. But all my friends seem to be naturally talented at everything and i hate it. i'm probably not even that good with a camera. i mean, seriously, how much talent do you have to have to point a camera at something and press a button. And people always say there's more to it than that, but no, there really isn't. There's supposed to be, but with the cameras people can get today, it's just that simple.

So what am i good at? Everyone's supposed to have a talent right? What's mine? i can lie. Does that count? i'm actually a pretty good and convincing liar if i want to be. i'm good at destroying moments and situations. i'm awesome at picking shitty guys. i'm probably the best out of anyone i've ever met at completely fucking everything up.

i can't write. i can't sing. i can't act. i can't be the best at anything. So what the hell am i supposed to do with my time? i don't even have a flipping hobby because i just get depressed when i try and i can't do it. It's how my entire life has gone.

i am the thing i hate the most in the world.

~*maria*~
Posted by Maria at 8:06 PM 0 comments

~*maria*~