Monday, December 5, 2011

The Things That Used To Mean So Much To Me Have Gone The Way Of Dinosaurs

i was supposed to go to Florida. It was all planned out. i was excited. It was finally something good. i was going to go and have an awesome time and be happy. i woke up to a text this morning from Rezi telling me it wasn't going to work out and i couldn't come anymore. i wasn't even surprised. It's kind of pathetic that i've come to completely expect everything that makes me happy, or has the potential to make me happy, to fall apart. Because if i were happy, if something good happened to me, the world would explode.

i'm so sick of crying myself to sleep. i wonder if my neighbors can hear me.

i don't even want to exist anymore.

i really can't remember anything good that happened to me in the last two months.

~*maria*~

1 comment:

Amanda said...

“Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth. Only you can be responsible for that. If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen. Accept who you are - completely; the good and the bad - and make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.”
- Stacey Charter