WoW Before Boyfriends Take II

i think i'm in love.

~*maria*~

Awkward Car Rides

Relationships are a complete waste of time.

I'm glad you can some it all up like that. I still like to have some hope.

If you've been through what i've been through with guys, you'd be hopeless too.

You're too young and pretty to be this jaded.

The whole jaded thing is a family trait. John's the same way. Also, being hopelessly in unrequited love is a family trait.

~*maria*~

WoW Before Boyfriends

Have you ever had points in your life where you just have to stop and say to yourself, "Self, listen to this question very closely. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!" Yeah, i've been have a ton of those lately.

"I think that maybe it's just bad luck. We could have been born rich, and thin, and powerful. We could have been worth their time."

He asked me why relationships scared me so much. i responded with this conversation John and i had once. The one i've posted at least once a year since then so that i would never forget.

"I've been thinking about it a lot recently, and, if you look at it philosophically, it doesn't make sense. The pain is unavoidable. Either somebody gets dumped or somebody dies, there's no way out..."

i don't want to hurt him or hurt myself, but it would never actually work out.

"...but it's not just the ending, it's the whole concept. It's giving such a huge part of yourself to someone whose intentions you can never truly know; sacrificing so much of your freedom of choice for a few moments, or months, or years of pleasure."

~*maria*~

Everything's Too Cold...

It's ridiculous. I don't understand what you're thinking. I don't really care, I guess.

All I know is, if it continues, I'll regret it.

I don't want that.

I don't want you to love me anymore.

I couldn't even think about you.

I was thinking of someone else.

With my bags packed and ready to go, nothing's ever hurt so much for me than to let you go.

~*maria*~

--Baby Blue, The Early November

Time Passed

i broke up with Joe a couple weeks ago. i pissed Manda off, i don't know how. There's a new boy...and an old one. Except i don't have anyone to talk to about everything that has happened in a few short weeks.

~*maria*~

Just Maybe

Maybe i'm too mean. But i'm okay with it. Some people just aren't deserving of me bestowing my awesomeness on them.

~*maria*~

World of Warcraft

i feel so left out all the time in our guild now. i know this is stupid to be writing about, but WoW is pretty much my life. And i was having such a great time playing with just the few of us. But then they started wanting to raid. And now there's tons of people in our guild and they don't even invite me to do stuff with them anymore. And i keep asking them if i can off tank but they always just ignore me. Fuck it.

~*maria*~