Just, Please, Don't Leave Me Guessing

Oh man, what a weekend. It sucked.

Friday I was really excited because Manda, Mandy, and i were going to Alex's for the weekend. At 3, i met them in Johnson Creek and i hopped in Manda's car and we were off. We got to Poynette and Manda let me take over driving because she can't see very well at night. So we're going and we get to about a mile before Oakdale and the charge battery and temperature lights came on and the steering starts locking up. So i pull off on the Oakdale exit and it stops working at the top of the ramp. Mandy and i get out and push it to a gas station/Subway. We open it up, and turns out a belt was shredded and needed to be replaced. This happened at about 5. So Mandy and i went into Subway and were deciding what we wanted to eat when the employee, Larry, started hitting on us. He said we both had beautiful smiles and we were lovely ladies. Fucking creep. While this is happening, Manda's outside talking to some guy who was going to fix the car, but he had to run back to his shop to get the right belt. So Mandy and i get food and we start eating and Manda comes in but she wasn't hungry. While we were eating Lare Bear (Larry) came over and talked to us the entire time. He insulted Madison a lot. That pissed me off. i love Madison. And he's from fucking Oakdale! No one even knows where the fuck that is!

Anyway. After we finished eating we went into the smoking room and were sitting, smoking, and fooling around while we waited for the guy to come back with the belt. In comes Lare Bear and starts talking to us again. He even smoked some of our cigarettes. WTF. Manda eventually went back out to meet the guy with the belt. So Lare Bear is in there with Mandy and i talking about all sorts of stuff that you don't talk about with people you just met. Especially if they're your fucking customers. He was saying we were wild and that we needed someone to tame us. Mandy said she had a boyfriend and that i didn't. For some reason Lare Bear brought transvestites up in the conversation and i said i didn't mind them. He then said i was one of those freaks who would try anything once. i told him i'm open to new things but that doesn't mean i'm a freak. He was really starting to piss me off. What the hell possesses someone to call another person a freak when you don't know anything about them?! Then. He called me a "freak in the sheets." What. The. Fuck. i don't really remember much about that part of the conversation. i was more focused on not punching him than listening.

Then he started saying how fucked up his life was and how his ex-wife was a bitch and that he had aggression issues. At this point, i just started making shit up. i told him i was an orphan, born in Australia, and some couple over here adopted me. And that i spent a long time in a mental hospital. At first when i said i was an orphan, Mandy laughed really hard. Finally, very shortly after that, Manda came back in and said we could go. Thank god. As we were getting our shit together, Lare Bear said this: "I'm really glad I got to know you lovely ladies, especially you (he looks at me). If I thought you weren't going to tell me to go to hell, I'd ask for your number." Oh. My. God. Stab me in the face. i thought i was going to throw up. i laughed at him and said i don't give my number to anyone. Ever.

So we got the fuck out of there. Everything seemed to be going well. We went over the Mississippi and Manda told me i should bang Freddie. That was a weird conversation.

At LaCrosse, we had a quarter of a tank of gas left. i figured we could stop when we got over the Mississippi. Apparently, for like 30 miles past the Mississippi, there aren't any gas stations. Fucking Minnesota. We kept getting off on every exit and there was nothing. Eventually we saw a sign for a BP... ...ten miles away. Great thanks. i knew we weren't going to make it, but we tried anyway. At mile marker 237, the car died. For the second time in the night, but of course for a different reason. We sat there for a little bit and wondered what to do. Mandy told us we needed to call the police, but of course we had no clue what the phone number was and we didn't want to call 911 since it wasn't really an emergency. So i called Freddie and had him look up the number. After he did that for us, Mandy called them and told them where we were and they said they'd send a state trooper to bring us some gas. After that, Manda went outside and peed. We gaurded her. They said it would take 15-20 minutes, so Manda and i broke out some cigarettes and Manday smoked half a cigar, then dropped it and almost set the car on fire. She's not allowed to smoke in there anymore.

Finally, the guy showed up. It was a 5' 3" tow truck driver who looked like a fucking lawn gnome. He was a real dick too. He asked us how we ran out of gas. Uh, duh, we drove and Minnesota doesn't believe in gas stations. So he gave us a gallon or two and then lead us to a gas station. Then he charged us $50. Bastard. Lawn gnomes are flippin' evil. We got gas, paid the guy, and were finally on our way again. Only about an hour and a half away from Alex. We rocked out the rest of the way there thanks to Mandy's awesome DJ'ing. Finally, after an 8.5 hour trip that should have only taken 6 hours, we saw Mankato rise over the horizon like heaven. It was beautiful. We went to Stacey's and immediately told Alex the entire story. Then we started drinking.

We played some drinking games, which i wasn't too terrible at. And we all got a little drunk. Or not so little drunk. Maybe like a lot drunk. Although, i didn't get that drunk. i fell asleep before everyone else because alcohol makes me really tired and dizzy. Everyone loves me when i'm drunk, apparently. Supposedly, i'm ridiculously fun and extroverted when i'm drunk. Which makes sense.

Saturday, i woke up and took a shower after Mandy. Then we woke Manda up and went to lunch with Craig. Who still ceases to amaze me by the way. i applaud Alex. Craig is quite the catch. He makes me want to be a gay man. Anyway. We went back to Alex's dorm and Manda took a nap because she felt like shit. Mandy, Alex, and i played air hockey, went bowling, and then played some ping pong. We went back to his dorm and played Pervertopoly with Manda. Alex and i tied. We went to dinner with Stacey and then Mandy, Manda, and i left for home.

i was driving again, which was awesome. i love driving. Now comes the part that ruined the entire fucking trip. Manda's car blew a fuse and all the dashboard lights went out. But we could keep driving so i told her that it blew a fuse but i was going to turn the interior lights on so i can see the speedometer and keep driving. She told me to pull over. i told her that we knew exactly what was wrong and there was nothing we could do about it in the middle of Minnesota so we should just keep driving. She made me pull into a Dairy Queen parking lot because she "just wanted to look at it." i kept telling her there was nothing to do about it, but she wouldn't listen. So she popped the hood, which isn't even where the fuses are and called her mom. Her mom was being a bitch so they got in a major bitchfest and started screaming at each other. Mandy and i sat in her car, pissed off, and freezing. She came back to the car and said there was nothing we could do and started driving again. That was it for me. i got so pissed off because if she would've just listened to me, we would be in Wisconsin closer to home. i just curled up in the backseat and went to sleep. i rid myself of her and her problems.

They dropped me off in Madison, and i told John the epic tale on our way to our house in Middleton. There i cuddled with Captain Marvel and Nala, watched half of Casino Royale, and then slept. i figured the next day i'd see Quantum of Solace with Freddie and everything would be great. Hah! The minute something works out in my life, i'm going to shit myself.

The next day came. i texted Freddie and he said he was at Mark's watching the Packers game. First off. Football? Really? You're going to waste your time with football and Mark instead of seeing an awesome movie with me? What a vagina. And he said Mark wants to see it too so i was like let's go. He said they wanted to postpone it. Then he said there was talk of playing Halo at his house. 1) i am so fucking sick of playing Halo. It's all we ever do. What happened to playing Diablo and Warcraft III?! 2) My box is broken and Mark had to study for tests because he's never heard of time management so we'd have four people on one box. i can't do that. My eyes and brain can't handle four people on one screen, even Freddie's giant one. So we didn't do anything and i got really depressed because i was really looking forward to seeing the movie. And i was looking forward to seeing Mark because after the weekend i had just had, i needed someone to make me smile. Except he's the entire reason i went to Minnesota and i told myself i wasn't going to see him after this weekend.

So that's my epic tale. The Minnesota Tale. And now the only thing i want to do is crawl in my bed and never, ever, ever get up. But of course i have school. School that i fucking hate more than anything. My life is so screwed up right now, it's not even funny.

~*maria*~