The Devil's Dance Floor

i was standing there, minding my own business, listening to the conversations happening around me.
"When are we leaving?" John asked Moses.
"Why? Do you want to leave?" Moses replied.
"No. But that one is bored and would like to go." John pointed at me.
The entire group turned to look at me.
i put my hands up and said that i didn't care. i added that i was bored because i wasn't doing anything.
That's when he grabbed my hand, and i knew he wanted to dance. He handed his glass of Monkey Bay white wine to Moses and i handed the coat i was holding to John. While still holding my hand, he led me to the dance floor, put his hand on my waist and i slipped my hand to his shoulder.
i briefly said i didn't know how to dance. He said that was alright and that he wasn't very good. i found that hard to believe. i'm sure he has danced with many girls.
He said he didn't even know me but recognized me. i told him who i was. i told him i knew his brother. The rest of the dance we talked about World of Warcraft.

i find it odd that the first dance i ever had was at age 19, and it wasn't with a man i was good friends with or dating. It was with a man i had talked to maybe once in my entire life. It was awesome.
But it made me sad. It made me realize the little things i would love for Joe to do that he doesn't, that isn't in his nature to do. i hardly know Kaleb, and yet just by simply taking my hand without warning, he struck me as the type of man i would love to be with. Romantic, caring, spontaneous.
The rest of the night was spent thinking about Joe and how i don't think he can ever be like that. i need a guy who will buy me little gifts for no reason. Of course, a guy who buys me gifts for a big reason, like my birthday, would be a great place to start.

The problem is, later in the night, John, Moses, and Adriane all said that out of all the guys i've been with, they like Joe the best. And they don't even know him that well. So i'm scared that if i were no longer with Joe, any man i introduced to them they wouldn't like. And i know ultimately it's my choice, but i want my brothers to like him.

It boils down to the fact that i was shown another reason why i don't truly believe i will be with Joe for a long time.

~*maria*~