i hate this. i don't understand it. i shouldn't like him. i know it's futile. He would never like me like that, and even if he did, he'd never think i was worth the hassle of a long distance relationship. But i can't stop thinking about him. And it's only getting worse. There are moments when he kind of makes it seem like he might think of me that way, but that's probably just how he is. i know he's almost as flirty as i am, so i can't actually read into that right? i wish i could pay someone to tell him how i feel for me so that i wouldn't have to be rejected straight to my face. Or put in a good word for me or something. This is fucking stupid. i'm fucking stupid. He seems more interested than he has before. And there's no denying we make a great pair. Psh, scratch that, a magnificent pair. We get together and we can accomplish anything. We compliment each other so well. And people have noticed that.
i need to do something about this. i don't want to deal with this anymore. But what the hell am i supposed to do?
i saw Something Corporate tonight. It was amazing. One of the best concerts i've ever been to. There were several parts when i wanted to cry because i was so happy.
i often wonder if he thinks about me at all while he's going about his daily life. Or if it's like i don't even exist to him unless we're playing together.
~*maria*~
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