Time

i need to remember to never talk to my brothers about the guys i like ever again. i was happy before that night. i was feeling good. i was letting myself hope, against everything i knew was a good idea, i was hoping. i actually thought i had a shot. But most of all, i was happy. i hadn't cried in weeks. my life seemed like it was going somewhere for once. i was smiling and joking. Now...now i'm miserable. i can't make it one night without crying. i bet they don't even realize what they did. They don't even realize that they smashed my hopes into tiny little pieces. It's not like i tried to hide it. i cried really hard for a long time on his porch and he didn't even notice. And it's not so much that my hoping was abruptly ended, as i knew it would be at some point in time. What's killing me the most is knowing that for once i was actually happy and almost satisfied with who i was and where i was going. But now it's back to the same old depressed, antisocial me that we've all come to know and hate.

~*maria*~